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I made out with a female friend of mine in the back of a movie theater – looking back, a number of our interactions were sexually tinged.
Were we flirting with each other or just – that word again – Around this time, a guy confronted me in class to claim he knew I was a lesbian. I laughed him off, mostly amused because the girl he claimed to have seen me kissing Later on, in high school, I asked a guy to the Tolo dance (women ask men) and I remember feeling weird – in a good way – when we got to the slow dancing part.
I dated a man very briefly in my senior year, though it’s hard to say if I actually liked him or was just flattered by the attention.
Sometimes my friends and I talked about women – “she’s hot” or complimenting each others’ asses – which left me even more sure that, and stop me if this phrase is familiar to you, “everyone’s a little bit bisexual.” I was straight. nice and ambiguous and blanket, let me admit that I wasn’t really straight but I didn’t really know what to call myself.
It was also in college that I first heard discussions of pansexuality and asexuality.
That I learned, and acknowledged, that sexuality is a spectrum experienced differently by different people.
If you’re a bisexual man, you’re especially vulnerable to hostility from within the LGBT community and also exposed to homophobia from others. Mostly it matters to me because my bisexuality is a part of me, and a part that I spent an agonizingly long time struggling with.
And if you’re trans or nonbinary and bisexual…well, you probably just don’t exist. If I had known there was an identity I could claim, a way I could quantify what I felt – what would be different? I don’t want to insist, or I don’t want to talk about it, or I don’t want to try to explain to people that yes, I am in a relationship with a woman; no, I’m not a lesbian.
Still, I had a language to describe what I was feeling – or what I thought I might be feeling.
My parents, when I announced that I thought I might be gay, hastened to tell me that it might just be a phase.
The joke goes that bisexual people are greedy – by being attracted to more than one gender, we’re playing the field, willing to have sex with anything on legs.
Bisexual characters are also often sexually aggressive, almost predatory.
Sometimes I don’t want to deal with accusations of transphobia or discussions of privilege that revolve, at their heart, around erasure.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating