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You are not chiselling your profile out of a stone tablet, nor are you scribbling it with a quill on a scrap of yellowing parchment.

You wrote it on a smartphone or computer, with predictive text and inbuilt spell check and all the rest.

Online is a great way to attempt it, too, with a veritable smorgasbord of untapped humans to hit on.

There is guidance on their website on how to do this.

The mornings are dark, the evenings are darker, and with another New Year comes the creeping existential dread that you have NO IDEA WHAT ON EARTH YOU ARE DOING WITH YOUR LIFE.

They might even alert the authorities before a smell starts emanating from my flat.” (Not that I've given this any thought whatsoever, obviously.) If this sounds strangely familiar, you're not alone.

According to Match.com, the seven-week period between Christmas and Valentine's Day is their busiest time, with a 30 per cent increase in sign-ups.

Like your hobby of training ocelots to perform circus tricks, or whatever.

I’ve been writing about relationships for a while now and can’t help but notice common themes that emerge over and over again in the questions we receive from readers.

To help you break away from the pack and get on the path toward a healthier, happier relationship, I’ve identified the 12 most common relationship mistakes most women make.

If you can get a handle on the things on this list, I guarantee you’ll notice your relationship drastically change for the better.

January is also the dating “sweet spot”, with those who decide to log on to this month 15 per cent more likely to find a match compared to the rest of the year.

It's an admirable New Year's ambition, no less worthy than losing two stone or chucking in a soulless finance job to achieve your lifelong dream of becoming an ornithologist.

” For example, someone who actually has a quirky sense of humour would, paradoxically, be far too quirky ever to write, “I have a quirky sense of humour” (this unforgivably cringeworthy line seems to crop up an awful lot on dating sites). You feel it's demeaning even to be on a dating site. Doing the whole world-weary cynicism thing, where your every word drips with distain, is not going to win you any friends – lady or otherwise.

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