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Your only getting paid for the snaps you were a part of- not when you decided your brain hurt to much to remember the playcalls.

Investing 100 million guarenteed in Newton is so dumb you might as well just take all that money and buy stock in Malaysan Airlines.

At least Malaysian planes go MIA over the Indian ocean, not in the fourth quater.

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Everyone in Russa had a guarenteed job- just some of them happened to be burying the bodys of the capitalists.

But do you think Newtons losing any sleep over the cap room hes stealing from Keuchley? I'll start guareteeing contracts for NFL players when they start guarenteeing me wins.

We're required to remind you that these strong takes are SATIRE. Its designed to be read on your Monday Morning commode break after a long Sunday eating bad-for-you food and drinking beers.

This column is written for and by a REAL fan of the NFL.

Wellcome to the Monday Morning BM,, just a word of warning your probably not prepared to handle the strong football takes and barrelfire NFL truths that you never knew your Mondays were missing.

If you care more about SPELLING then you do about TELLING theres the door because this columns not for you.This way the owners can use the extra capital to make improvements to the stadiums and private jets. Sure, but lets see how you like it when your the one who has to pony up the cash.I a player truley believes they're worth 100 million dollars they should have to be willing to give there owners 100 million dollars too or else its hypocrisy.Attending a minor league game is like visiting the social securty office.And with todays news that Cam Newton is going to be the latest QB to cash in, the NFL is taking a dangerous step toward communism.Not to compare being a dual threat QB to the plight of transexual people in America but Newton cant have it both ways.

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